Saturday, October 22, 2016
So I've gotten a Capital One credit card to repair my credit! I've been making payments on time except this last time! That's fine, got a message from them saying they will raise my credit limit if I make my next payment on time! 🤗🤗🙋🏾🎉🎉👍🏾 Great!!!
I haven't told hubby yet, why becaus he is going to want to use it up! On what mostly probably alcohol!! 🍷🍷🍷😫😫 not on my dime!! Get your own CC!
He takes takes takes, and I'm tired of it
If I wanted to rent a hotel!motel room I can. Rent a car, I can! Or anything else I can! Unfortunate there's a since of honesty that sits in me, I hate it!! 😡😡😡 but I need some back up money just for me! Just for me!!! 💳💳💳💳
Wednesday, October 19, 2016
What is my ideal relationship! Besides the obvious..honesty, love, trust, and there have to be AWESOME love making...I'm the Queen at that!! 😉😍😘 #ijs #provenrecord
Anywho, want someone who gives me what I need and cater to my wants! Don't belittle my feelings into thinking I am crazy or asking for too much!!
I want to go out to breakfast, lunch and dinner every once in a while🍕🍝🍸🍵🍾
•go dancing, 💃🏽💃🏽 see a concert, enjoy nature🐞🐝🐠🌺🌹🌸
•try a new hobby, meet some new people
•just sit and be silent🙊🙊
•lay on your chest and have a goofy conversation 😝😝😝🤓🤓😜😜
•have a serious conversation about our goals and make sure we do our best to push each other to reach them! 👌🏾👌🏾👍🏾
•feel that special touch that says "I Love you!"🌹❤️
•Snuggle, I love to snuggle!! 🤗🤗🤗🤗
•Surprise me every one in a while🎁🎁🎁
I don't think I am hard to love, just haven't found the right person who meets my qualifications!!
Monday, October 17, 2016
As I sit at think about how I feel...I feel like a fool-why??
•Allowing myself to be disrespected
•Not taking the steps to try to change my financial situation
•Holding on to a fantasy
•Not caring enough to take care of myself
I'm to the point of giving up on everything !!...yeah again!!!
I told my husband I wish I didn't have feelings, that way I wouldn't hurt or disrespect anyone or feel such things, he says if I didn't have any feelings then no one would get to love me, I wouldn't be what makes me me! I guess!
Patience and endurance right??!
Saturday, October 15, 2016
Mmmmm where do I start? 🤔 So between last week and today a lot has gone on! Two major arguments in one day!! One was during sex, who does that? Anywho, yesterday I made a comment leaving him feeling as though the emptiness in my life is his fault! "I don't feel fulfilled in this marriage!"
Him: "Why do I have to share in your crummy music! (My slow jams) Why can't you find someone else to do it or enjoy it by yourself (which I do). If you wanna go to a concert, why do I have to go?"
Me: "Because you are my husband!"
Was I wrong! 🤔🤔
I try to give respect where respect is due! Try not to neglect anyone or hurt their feelings! But mine are hurt!! That's life right?
I don't put on my "Big Girl Draws" on very much but lately I have and this is what I get! Honesty...humph.
So the night goes on and the advice he gave was to "live". Do what makes me happy but "Do Something!" Don't just sit here doing nothing! 🤔
I think I am trying to find happiness in others instead of looking within myself OR do I just want to share what makes me happy with others!! 🤗🤗🤗
I don't think I am hard person to please!! I don't care for rejection but it happens and I have to deal with it and move on!! That's a work in process! But when rejection comes from your spouse-that's like a brick being thrown in your face! 😖😖😖
Having something in common means SO MUCH to me! 🌹🌹❤️👍🏾 I love to feel a connection with those I meet! Something that makes me feel or say "I wanna see....or look forward to seeing....!" Ya feel me! Lol
Maybe I have to learn to do things on my own and meet those who want to participate along the way!! But where do I start?....somewhere right?! 🤔🙋🏾😕
Thursday, October 6, 2016
Need to slow my role! Thinking too much and too hard!!! Trying to keep things friendly!!
Finding it difficult:
To behave!!! Until I get the official go ahead...I remember I have boundaries to abide by!!! 😫😫😫😫😫