Friday, September 18, 2015

The love inside of me

Sitting here waiting for daughter to get off work listening to slow jams knowing I have no one to share them with. Hubby doesn't like them. Which leaves me to enjoy them by myself! Sad if I should say so myself. There is so much love that I have to suppress because I have no one, I mean no one to express them to that would appreciate it and return the feeling. This leaves me depressed!!!! Constantly!!! 

I think I have reached a point in my life where I have grown and I feel as if my other half hasn't! Is finding someone else possible, of course but is that the answer, no!!!! 

So what do I do???? 

Life too complicated

I am often wondering what I am looking for in life and a partner. I just feel crazy at time just want to crawl in a corner and die. I think I liked it better when I was naive. Was happier then. 

I feel so out of place. Awful feeling. I await the new world Psalms 37:9-11,29 being patient is very hard. 

I think I am just ready to step down from being the strong one, it's getting exhausting.....fast 

Another issue I am dealing with, part of me have low self esteem, I know I am not the only one , I often wonder if I am really pretty! Not that I want any and everyone to talk to me but  at least I think I would think I look good. Yeah, hubby says it all the time and that should be enough but it's not. You seems to have to wear form fitting clothes and reveal all your goodies just for someone to say hi, then if they did I would get mad right!!! Probably. Life is too complicated.