Need to stay focused

My goal is to get out of this marriage! I have to stay focused on why I want to get out!! There are times when the days are good, conversationally but when night falls I don't wanna be there and then I remember why!! 

STAY FOCUSED!!!!

Have a chance

So I've gotten a Capital One credit card to repair my credit! I've been making payments on time except this last time! That's fine, got a message from them saying they will raise my credit limit if I make my next payment on time! 🤗🤗🙋🏾🎉🎉👍🏾 Great!!! 

I haven't told hubby yet, why becaus he is going to want to use it up! On what mostly probably alcohol!! 🍷🍷🍷😫😫 not on my dime!! Get your own CC! 

He takes takes takes, and I'm tired of it 

If I wanted to rent a hotel!motel room I can. Rent a car, I can! Or anything else I can! Unfortunate there's a since of honesty that sits in me, I hate it!! 😡😡😡 but I need some back up money just for me! Just for me!!! 💳💳💳💳

My ideal relationship

What is my ideal relationship! Besides the obvious..honesty, love, trust, and there have to be AWESOME love making...I'm the Queen at that!! 😉😍😘 #ijs #provenrecord

Anywho, want someone who gives me what I need and cater to my wants! Don't belittle my feelings into thinking I am crazy or asking for too much!! 

I want to go out to breakfast, lunch and dinner every once in a while🍕🍝🍸🍵🍾

•go dancing, 💃🏽💃🏽 see a concert, enjoy nature🐞🐝🐠🌺🌹🌸

•try a new hobby, meet some new people

•just sit and be silent🙊🙊

•lay on your chest and have a goofy conversation 😝😝😝🤓🤓😜😜

•have a serious conversation about our goals and make sure we do our best to push each other to reach them! 👌🏾👌🏾👍🏾

•feel that special touch that says "I Love you!"🌹❤️

•Snuggle, I love to snuggle!! 🤗🤗🤗🤗

•Surprise me every one in a while🎁🎁🎁

I don't think I am hard to love, just haven't found the right person who meets my qualifications!!

#onthehunt

I wanna be loved....

ERIC BENET LYRICS

Play "I Wanna Be Loved" on Apple Music

"I Wanna Be Loved"

Love once left me cold and gray

I had almost reached heaven

Just to feel it slip away

But life's too short to waste away

Being scared to take chances

Or so I've heard wise men say

I wanna be loved

Faithful and true

I wanna be loved

Ten million lifetimes with you

I wanna be loved

And after all I've been through

I'll let my heart take it's chances, just to be loved by you

Taste, touch, hear, see, feel me now girl

And you'll know I'm so ready

To exchange lifelong vows, yes I am

'Cause now you've shown me how God has smiled

On this chance and this moment

For this I've prayed all my life

I wanna be loved

Faithful and true

I wanna be loved

Ten million lifetimes with you girl

I wanna be loved

And after all I've been through

I'll let my heart take its chances, just to be loved by you

I wanna feel there's a reason for living again

I want us to fly far away

And I want my heart to sing the words only you can understand

So put your hand in mine, say a prayer tonight

So that we may find love

I wanna be loved

I want to be faithful and true

I wanna be loved

Ten million lifetimes with you baby

I wanna be loved

And after all I've been through

I'll let my heart take its chances, just to be loved by you

I want to be loved

Faithful and true

I want to be loved

Ten billion lifetimes, ten zillion, ten trillion lifetimes baby

And after all I've been through

I'll let my heart take a chance just to be loved by you

I'll let my heart take a chance just to be loved by you

 Submit Corrections

Thanks to deno for adding these lyrics.

1. A-Z Lyrics
 
2. E
 
3. ERIC BENET Lyrics

"Hurricane" (2005)

Feel like a fool....

As I sit at think about how I feel...I feel like a fool-why??

•Allowing myself to be disrespected 

•Not taking the steps to try to change my financial situation

•Holding on to a fantasy 

•Not caring enough to take care of myself 

I'm to the point of giving up on everything !!...yeah again!!! 

I told my husband I wish I didn't have feelings, that way I wouldn't hurt or disrespect anyone or feel such things, he says if I didn't have any feelings then no one would get to love me, I wouldn't be what makes me me! I guess! 

Patience and endurance right??! 

Where Do I Start

Mmmmm where do I start? 🤔 So between last week and today a lot has gone on! Two major arguments in one day!! One was during sex, who does that? Anywho, yesterday I made a comment leaving him feeling as though the emptiness in my life is his fault! "I don't feel fulfilled in this marriage!"

Him: "Why do I have to share in your crummy music! (My slow jams) Why can't you find someone else to do it or enjoy it by yourself (which I do). If you wanna go to a concert, why do I have to go?"

Me: "Because you are my husband!" 

Was I wrong! 🤔🤔 

I try to give respect where respect is due! Try not to neglect anyone or hurt their feelings! But mine are hurt!! That's life right? 

I don't put on my "Big Girl Draws" on very much but lately I have and this is what I get! Honesty...humph. 

So the night goes on and the advice he gave was to "live". Do what makes me happy but "Do Something!" Don't just sit here doing nothing! 🤔 

I think I am trying to find happiness in others instead of looking within myself OR do I just want to share what makes me happy with others!! 🤗🤗🤗 

I don't think I am hard person to please!! I don't care for rejection but it happens and I have to deal with it and move on!! That's a work in process! But when rejection comes from your spouse-that's like a brick being thrown in your face! 😖😖😖 

Having something in common means SO MUCH to me! 🌹🌹❤️👍🏾 I love to feel a connection with those I meet! Something that makes me feel or say "I wanna see....or look forward to seeing....!" Ya feel me! Lol 

Maybe I have to learn to do things on my own and meet those who want to participate along the way!! But where do I start?....somewhere right?! 🤔🙋🏾😕

I promise

Thinking too much....as always

Need to slow my role! Thinking too much and too hard!!! Trying to keep things friendly!! 

Finding it difficult:

To behave!!! Until I get the official go ahead...I remember I have boundaries to abide by!!! 😫😫😫😫😫 

#Wanttomisbehavewithyou