How I'm feeling

how am I feeling!!! Well...a lot is going on in this little head of mine! Trying to figure out where everyone fits in my life, what am I after, also realizing that my fantasy is just that..a fantasy!! Nothing more nothing less! Which means i have to untwist my thinking! That thought leaves me feeling empty! 

We are suppose to go to Jehovah for all things! How do I go to him to help me fill a physical void in my life! I pray to him and he helps me endure! I guess that has to be enough! 

It's shameful to be lonely and married! That doesn't go together! My heart doesn't get happy with him! It actual seems to die more! 

I don't wanna just exist I want to live! What's my next step in moving forward!